changes are permanent

Is it true?? well, for me...some are permanent and some are not. well, lets look at this way, when someone or something influence u to do a thing that u never do before or to try to change yourself, u tend to follow it at fes place - willingly or not...but later, when u realise it is not part of u, u will change it again. at that time, its either u change it back to its original state or u transform it to a better one. so, its easy to say, the changes that are not fit to you is not permanent... this is because the power of changing things around you is in your hand.

emm, why am i even talking about this? what came to my mind that triggers me to talk about this? hmmm. let say I've been having a muhasabah session....thinking back on how different i am now from the 'old' me a year ago...

what i can conclude from my once in a blue moon session is ----> no matter how differ i am. i am proud to be who i am now and  who i was a year ago. i cannot thnx enough fr all people around me and the situation i was put in that define me as i am nw. wah, ttbe je rse mcm da jd sorg yg befalsafah..haha.

now i learn that wearing bju kurung, jubah, blouse and skirts is not even half bad. starts to reduce my caffeine intake. even get introduced to existence of colours other than black and white. and most of all, moping is not so renyah after all. hehe.

but, i think the most out of the most changes i get to realise now is how my character has changed here and there. i'm an egoistic person. too ego for a girl, u may say. till now i still am. maybe more ego than before. still hard to open myself up. prefer to pretend that I'm fine when I'm not. love to push myself too hard and try to be strong even if its the last thing i have to do.. partly because of my ego-ness, partly because i don't want to get hurt in the end. because i dont want too depend on people. some say that the wall i kept around me can keep the pain out. but it also restrain the happiness from getting in. err...ok. lets stop talking bout this concrete bricks, ye. :)

i think this is my post fr now. hmm. alang2 skng ni tgh mood bes nk berfalsafah, almost everyday ak post ye...haha. look forward to my next post ye. even if its all merapu jer..