#Random saying#

It takes only one minute to have a crush on someone. An hour to like someone, and a day to love someone. But it takes a lifetime to forget someone. It’s hard for me to forget you.

The reasons people hold on to memories so tight is because the memories are the only things that doesn’t change when everything else does. I’ll always hold on to our memories

Never take too much care on someone because you won’t be able to stand the pain when they start avoiding you.  I’m having this pain right now because I care too much for you.

 You can close your eyes to the things that you do not want to see. But you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.  My heart ache for you even if I act like it didn’t.

It’s hard to move on especially when you can’t look at anyone else without that one guy in your heart. *sigh*

When you are in love and you get hurt, it’s like a cut. It can be healed but it always be a scar. It will remain as a deep scar in my heart.

There’s always that one special person that no matter what they have done to you, you still…just don’t let them go. The reasons why I hold to you so tight.

Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. It means you have been too strong for too long. Yeah, I’m a strong girl. *grin*

No matter who broke your heart or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends. Thanks to all my friends. I love you so much.

Sometimes, I just wish that there is somebody to hug me and say; ‘everything is going to be alright.’ And I wish it is you. But I know it will remains as a wish only.

Sometimes, even when you have a good reason to hold on, you have to realize that it’d much better if you let go.  It hurts and I cried soo much even when I know and realized it was meant for good.

If only Im brave enough to tell you this!!

That very morning, I wake up with a lousy feelings. Had nightmares.  Again! I begin to feel like the nightmares had a reason behind it. *sigh*  With a mixed feeling, I lay soo low the whole morning. But when the feeling become so sickening, I just thought about you. Yes you! Maybe I could share with you.  Just maybe...you could came out with your ideas and advices..I took my phone and decided to  text you. But you didn’t reply.I waited n waited n waited.  Its too overwhelming till I turn back and cry. I was scared. I feel alone. Isolated. I don’t know why but I feel like I cannot trust anyone at all.

Hours later, u txt me back. But I was so tired. Damn tired. Guess i cried too much. I just read the txt and threw the phone away. Still, I remained in my bed. Then you called me. I wanted to answer it. but im scared. I afraid if you realized that Im not ok. You may realize that I sound like I just cried. I don’t want to look weak n vulnerable.

Suddenly my friend came n told me that you text her…asking about my whereabouts n my condition. Im shocked. But I just smiled and said that im fine and ill be texting you later. But it took me quite a long time to calm myself.  To feel like myself once again.

Awak, I've been having a bad dream. Terrible ones. The ones that make me woke up trembling or with tears on my cheeks and breathing so fast till it hurt.  Im sorry. But Im not the type that talked about nightmare. I had some belief -which kinda weird- I just dont talk about nightmares. Its not what i talk about. Especially the dream is what im scared the most. Im always happy when i didnt dream anything at all. which is so rare these days.. T.T

I used to tell you that I cant sleep for days. I will eventually woke up in the middle of the night. or end up feeling like sh*t in the morning. I asked you to accompany me, right. everynight, text me till i fall asleep. i know i was being annoyingly girlish - whatever you may called this. but Im scared. Id rather being called like that than not having enough sleep at all. 

But i guess im not telling you about this. may be one day, on one fine day,  you will know why. you wont accuse me of being a liar. hmm. its too hard to bear it alone. But its even more painful to share when i know ppl will left one day...i had a problem with trust and i will always will...

P/s: date ni tak btol snanye...i wrote bout this after i was accuse to be a liar. tp bru post...lgpun. bkn nye ade sespe yg nk bce my post kan. so, i had nothg to lose....... :')

Album gambar keluarga

Bila sudah boring2, sye mula la gatal tangan...tarik album lma2. selak one by one pic yg ade. hati da mula sedih dah...air mata dah mula mengalir. knpe ye? knpe sye rse fmly sye mcm ade smthg is not right.we are closed but yet so far. we barely had pictures together with all the members in it. 

Jemariku terus menyelak album keluarga. Ade satu gambar yg brjye buat sye menangis. gmbr family masa sye masih kecil...ermm, maybe 4 atau 5 tahun kot mse tu. dlm gmbr tu, ade atok, nenek, mak, abah, pk ngah n mk ngah,pk su, my abg, my cousin n anak angkat nenek.

the only person yg sye sgt2 rindukan is my atok. sye tak rapat pun dengan atok. sye tak ingat bila kali terakhir sye peluk atok. sbb setiap kali sye ade dekat dengan atok, hati sye sakit sangat. hati sya terluka. atok, knapa atok layan sye macam ni atok? knpe atok keluarkan kata2 yg sangat menyakitkan hati pd saya atok? besar sangat ke salah saya atok? saya tahu sy bukannya cucu kesayangan atok, tapi jgn layan sye macam saya ni a piece of junk yg tak layak nk pijak rmh atok...

sye masih kecil lagi, atok. baru 6 atau 7 tahun masa tu. knpe atok pnggil sye dengan gelaran tu. sye mungkin tak paham ape yg atuk maksudkn mse tu, tp sye tak akn lupekan ape yg atok ckp pde sye. smpai ble2 pun! benci sgt ke atok pd sye? jika ya, knpe atok? sye ade buat salah besar mana atok? teruk sgt ke kesalahan tu smpi skrg kta tak boleh nak rapat?

Atok, sye tak nak atok mrh2 dkt sye. Sye tau atok x ske sye, sbb tu sye sntiasa elak dr berada di tmpt yg sme ngn atok kalo ade sye dgn atok je. Atok perasan tak, kalo atok ade kat dapur, sye tak kan pergi dapur kecuali kalo ade mak temankan. Sye takut sgt dgn atok. ye, sye takot dgn atok. Sye sentiasa terigt "kata-kata manis" yg atok ucapkan ble atok marah dkt sye waktu sye kecik dlu... Sye tak akan lpekan, atok..

Kwn sye ade ckp, maafkan la atok kau tu. Org tgh mrh, biasa la tu...hmmm, mgkn betul ape yg kwn sye ckp, atok. Tp, sye manusia biasa, atok. Sye boleh maafkan atok. Boleh! Sye tak pnah marah dkt atok. Tp sye takkan lpekan ape yg dh jadi atok. bohonglah kalo sye ckp sye tak terasa. bohonglah kalo sye ckp sye tak terkilan. 

 Atok, cucu yg atok pernah hina ni  dulu tak pernah buat malu kat atok. cucu yg atuk pnah beri "kata-kata manis" ni tak pernah mintak ape2 atas ape yg diperoleh. cucu yg sorg ni tak pnah mintak pujian dr atok. ape yg cucu ini inginkan cuma atok. Sye nak atok kenal sye. Sye nak satu hari nanti, atok dgn bngganye boleh tunding jari dkt sye n ckp "inilah cucuku yg aku banggakan"

Agak2 ble mase tu akan dtg ye, atok? hmm....sye sgt nantikan saat itu atok. sgt3.

To someone special to me

dah lme tak bka blog. bukan apa, tak smpat. n tak tau nk post apa pun. hikhik. ape lah ak nih. :D emmm... tetiba hari ni ak trigat kat dia.. let called him Mr Z. sye ngn dia dlu rapat. rapat sgt. semua bnda ak buat, dy akan tau. apa sja yg ak pikiaq pun, ak msti habaq kat dy. kiranya sye mmg story semua kt dy je lah. smpi semua ingat sye kapel ngn dy. hahaha

:'( tp nw..km x ckp pun. langsung tak. almost 6 months km cam ni. sbb apa? ak pun x tau. antara kami ada sumthing left undone and unsaid.....n i cant pinpoint it to wht it was about.  hmm. sye harap sgt km rapat blik. even tak boleh nk serapat dlu, at least bg lah km dpt brckp to each other like normal again. sye rindu awk sgt3..

Mr Z, sye rindu awk tau tak? Sye sygkn awk. knpe kte dua jadi mcm ni? Ape dah jadi? Knpe awk makin mendingin?

Apa jadi hari tu? Apa yg brlaku smpi awak buat mcm ni? Sye x tau weh. Sye mmg tak tau. Plz terang kat sy. Bg sye paham. Sye pnat buat2 paham n its killing me. many things happen that make me hurt. Tp sye diam ja. Tau x, sye defend awak hr tu. Bla diorang ckp awk buat cerita, sye defend awk sbb sye prcaya kat awk. Bla sye dpt tau mmg btol awk buat, sye sedih sgt. Im crying inside. tp sye x nk judge pa pe. sbb sye syg awk. sye pun syg dia, Ms A.

sye ada tnya awk npa awk buat cm ni kan? igt tak sye pnah mcj awk? igt tak sye ckp yg sye sntiasa prcya kat awk. u r my secret box. forever and ever. tp reply awk sgt menyakitkan hati sye...awk ckp kat sye, no, awk pesan kt sye utk jgn prcyakan awk sgt. what?! wait..ape dah jadi ni?? knpe awk buat macam ni? ape yg dah berlaku awk? tlg lah, rungkaikan simpulan yg ade ni, awk..

sye sgt harap kte akan baik semula. it feels awkward, awk. we are going to be together fr the next 5 years. smpi kte dpt MBBS. x kan la nk biarkn bnde ni berselirat. boleh tak kita jadi kawan semula? awak, will u be my friend again? will u?

SeKadaR ReNunGan

Apakah yang harus kita lakukan apabila ditimpa masalah atau musibah ? Apakah dengan merasa sedih, keluh kesah dan membinasakan diri sendiri dapat menyelesaikan sesuatu perkara. Jawapannya adalah dengan kembali kepada Allah.Ketahuilah dengan mengingati Allah hati akan menjadi tenang.Firman Allah SWT :

"Tiada sesuatu musibah yang menimpa seseorang kecuali dengan izinNya.. Dan barangsiapa yg beriman kepada Allah nescaya Allah akan memberi petunjuk kepada hatinya..."( At-Taghabun:11).


Kita seharusnya redha dengan apa yang berlaku kerana ia merupakan qada dan qadar daripada Allah. Seharusnya seseorang yang beriman tidak boleh mengatakan Allah itu tidak adil semata-mata kerana musibah yang menimpa dirinya begitu pedih untuk ditanggung. Kita tidak berhak untuk memilih dugaan atau musibah itu sesuai dengan kehendak kita.


Ini kerana Allah Maha Mengetahui atas tiap-tiap sesuatu. Allah berfirman di dalam surah Al-Baqarah ayat 216 yg bermaksud:.


"...Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi(pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu. Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.".


Apabila Allah menimpakan musibah kepada kita, itu sebenarnya tanda Allah kasih kepada kita. Ia juga merupakan suatu ujian penilaian keimanan diri, sejauh mana kita benar-benar beriman atau keimanan kita begitu nipis sehingga hanya dengan sedikit dugaan, hati kita berubah.Cuba renungkan firman Allah ini:


"Dan, sungguh akan kami berikan cubaan kepadamu, dengan sedikit ketakutan, kelaparan, kekurangan harta, jiwa dan buah-buahan. Dan berikanlah khabar gembira kepada orang-orang yang sabar." (Al-Baqarah:155).


Setiap manusia mempunyai titik tolak dalam kehidupannya. Maka apabila ditimpa musibah eloklah kita iktikadkan dalam hati, bahawa inilah titik permulaan dalam hidup kita. Barangkali musibah yang melanda merupakan suatu isyarat daripada Allah untuk kita bermuhasabah diri bagi membuat perubahan. Ringkasnya apa yang telah berlaku itu mempunyai hikmah yang harus di nilai. Kita harus memperbanyakkan beristighfar, membaca selalu innalillahhiwainnailaihirajiuun dan sebagainya.


Disamping itu, jadikan Alquran, sebagai teman. Berdoalah kepada Allah untuk memohon bantuan, dan diberikan keringanan dalam urusan. Firman Allah dalam surah Al-Mukmin ayat 60 yg bermaksud:


"Berdoalah kamu kepadaKu, nescaya akan aku perkenankan bagimu".


Bagi mengelakkan kita dari terus mengingati situasi sedih yang dihadapi maka kita hendaklah melakukan pelbagai aktiviti yang bermanfaat seperti melibatkan diri dengan aktiviti masyarakat, menghadiri ceramah, mengunjungi saudara mara dan sebagainya. Seterusnya kita hendaklah bertawakkal kepada Allah setiap masa dalam apa jua keadaan.Firman Allah dlm surah Al-Maidah ayat 23:


"...dan hanya kepada Allah lah hendaknya kamu bertawakkal jika kamu benar-benar beriman".


Jangan lupa mengadu kepada Allah sekiranya hidup seringkali ditimpa kegelisahan dan kesempitan. Maka ucaplah Hasbunallah Wanikmal Wakil yang bermaksud :, Cukuplah Allah menjadi penolong kami dan Allah adalah sebaik-baik pelindung.


"Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang bersabarlah sahaja yang akan disempurnakan pahala mereka dengan tidak terkira.".(Az-Zumar:10).


Sebagai kesimpulannya, tiada masalah tanpa penyelesaiannya. Kita harus mengkaji dan meneliti, sebagaimana setiap penyakit mempunyai penawarnya. Anggaplah musibah itu sebagai tiket untuk mendekati Allah dan sebagai jalan menuju bahagia. Ingatlah janji Allah di dalam surah Al-Insyirah bahawa sesudah kesulitan ada kemudahan.


#this is just a CnP...credit to the owner n writer#