:(

okay...seisly. smthg is wrong with me! feel like wanna talk so much bout all this with fatah. text him all night yet still not relieved.(sorry ganggu your family time.)

why? what i am thinking?? what i am doubting about?? am i hurt emotionally..or tired physically? or is it homesick??  guess the quest has started for me to search and find out all by myself. 

These are the times i really wish i still have him in my contact list. if i am not super idiot, i wont delete him out of anger or shame. ergh, now i sounds like i'm wailing in self pity. GREAT!! just so damn great. 

Colours of person

A man shine in its own unique way synchronized with his characteristics and lifestyle. Some shine in a cheerful yellow or the vibrant red or even the mysterious black. It may haven’t shine yet but who knows when it do, it shine the brightest of all!                                                                                                                                                                                 

I live life in my own way. I speak what I want in my own way. So, whatever you say, comment or criticism, believe me, I don’t care. If you are not fine with it, then it’s your problem.

Accepting a person by only parts of his life is called hypocrite. But accepting him as a full is called love. 

 Because deep down, I know there are still many people out there that can accept me just the way I am. In a nutshell, I deserve well better than you! 

trust. betrayal

"Trust. Betrayal. And I cant cope with this. The hurt."

a close friend of mine said this to me. we had a mini heart to heart discussion. and yes, i can see the hurt. glimmering in the eyes. god knows how this tear me up from the inside. and its all but damn truth anyway. Betrayal is the worst pain. duri dalam daging or anything you may call it.

Aha! moments

Aha moments?! ever heard of it? ever encounter it? okey, for a good start, let me ask you. what is aha moment? if you expect me to explain....then you completely WRONG!! I am damn tired right now and my headache just cant stop itself from knocking my small and beautifuly craved skull. hihihi. sorry to say, you just need to ask Mr Google by yourself then. 

everyone must have been familiar with aha moments. just not the terms. well, even Newton had his aha moments under the shady tree of apple tree. well, with the help of gravity and a ripe apple.eureka also have its own story behind the curtain. bla.bla.bla. anyway... i just wanna post a short post only. nothing much about the definition. but about the feeling you had during this Aha moment and the consequences you face. well, to talk about this, i need to give my example. the real example from my life itself... ergh, i rlly dont like to open up especially about my life.

 

MY AHA MOMENTSS... yup. if you notice my extra 's' at the word moment. well, it indicate that i have many ( >1 ) moments in my almost 19 years of life. hmm, which aha moments i wanna talk about? what if i let you choose..? emm, nehi! never! its my blog. and it is well aware that its my full option. :D well, lets talk about the recent one....

As, some may know. i had a big issue. opps, correction. my housemate and i have a big issue. its partially settle now but as i say...its partially only. on our path to partially deal with this issue, i had a lot of aha moments. some of it really deeply touch my heart and soul.  I cried so many times ( cant believe i admit this out loud ). I throw away my  pride and engulf myself in the warm and comfort of people's hug.

i learnt a lot of useful and practical method to ease my burden. thanks to him. :) and i learn to push away the unpractical things from my mind when i don't need to think about it. and guess what?! i survived! and is a big accomplish already. though my parents still unaware. :(

crap. my short post has experience aha moment by itself. it had learnt how to extend itself!!  i think i shud stop typing rite now or this post will become a gigantic hellaluva post. bye for now! :)

awak happy kan? u feel like the burden is lifted or maybe it is because u can talk about random stuff with the one you didn't talk leisurely before. i can see it from your action. from the way you talk. awak, i am happy for  you.  seriesly am.  better yet, i search my heart and i found that i am sincerely happy for you. i really wish you can accomplish what you want and this will be the start of the end of your miserability... ergh. sound konfius rite. ;)

anyhow...some of you may ask me. why i post this? any significance?? well, its because i care. care enough to feel for you...n i care because i sayang u.