what you think???

HAHAHA. if u think i nk cari pasal. u are total wrong! hehe. snanye not ALL boys are stupid. come on lah, i have a lot of boy friends...i mean really friend la. not the tittle bf tuh. hehe.

since kindergarten, i find it easy to be friend with boys than girls. not that im being judgemental or anythg. it just that my siblings are all boys if you minus me. and my fes close friend is a boy oso. but we kinda lost connection. huhu. hr tu da cuba nk jmpe dy but dy x de lak.hmm. x de rezeki nk jmpa gamaknya.

i also find it easy to share secrets with them. why? idk. maybe i have trust towards them. at les i know they care less to talk around behind me. but some girls also not the type that always talk behind. but still...hmm. well, its my secret. its my choice then if i pick to share it with boys. well, when i say share secret with boys, i dont mean all of them. just a few only.

i am not a pengkid. i still have the girl characters within me, physically and mentally. but i just love to hang out with boys. lepak di kedai mamak. belasah and dibelasah with them, legally la bcoz i join martial arts.

being friend with them had thought me a lot of things. i see the world from other perspective. learn that in life, boys and girls are sometimes at equal standard. its not sex that define us, but its our personality.

a friend of mine, a player, but yet kinda gentleman. he knows his limit with both boys and girls but yet loves to tease the limit. some say it will be sweet if i kapel wth him. haha. cm klaka je. they say it based our comments in fb. a player as he is, kdg2 ape yg dy ckp tu terkesan la jgak di hati perempuan ni but i know him well enuf. :)

this guy is a friend since primary school. jmpe blik dlm karate aftr spm. we jd rapat since then till now. we had a unique start. when we exchange our numbers. hehe. i wont forget that day. :D but sometimes rsa awkward being with him coz i know that he has feeling more than a friend. but, i draw a clear line between us and i hope he notice that coz i dont want to hurt him. he is a nice guy indeed.

well. being close with boys do have a pro and con. u need to have a solid and clear motive. if not, u might end up falling to them. im saying this based on my true experience. coz boys can make you think he love you when he doesnt. and that is just soo true in every level.

well...to sum up. i agree boys are stupid. but not all. some girls are stupid too. but we - human learn from mistake. thats how we grow. and mistake is not something that we should be a shame of.

.....

honestly... i had a LOT to say. bout my accident. bout me waking up at 3 am thinking there is burglar in the house. bout me being in uncivilised world for almost a day...and it all happen in 24 hours only...huhu.

but still... i dont have the feeling of typing it all. soo many things that occur and i need to get a firm grip to the earth.

 maybe one day, ill story bout it. just not now. not at this moment. till then.....:)

my day

sleep late. try to busy my life with unnecessary activities. in truth, i actually try to run away from problems and things that occur. this  is my way of showing i'm fine when i'm not. for those who know me well enough will know why i do this, but for those who don't will agree on what i did as they cannot see what lay behind my acts.

hmm. blog has transform to be my diary these days...huhuhu. i need to make it private if i'm going to keep on like this. okey, lets talk bout what had happen that i want to share with someone that i can't anymore. wait.. what if that person reads this?? well. let it be. i have nothing to lose anymore. *sigh*

driving! i cant believe that my parents actually let me drive soo far. even let me drive to my kampung. allow me to fetch my lil bro even it was the busiest road ever in alor star. hehe. even if i am a bit anxious, but it turns out quite well...still, whenever im going to drive, feel like sharing it with someone. when it turns out well, feel like sharing it to someone again. hmm. awkward.

actually, why am i typing these anyway? because I'm so bored. No one to talks to. My best friend is having her exam, cant disturb her for now. oh yeah, almost forget- well actualy i am trying to forget it anyway. it is because i had a little accident just now! my first small car accident!! still freaking out with that. but im fine. :) err, until my parents find out, for now i'm good. hehe.

changes are permanent

Is it true?? well, for me...some are permanent and some are not. well, lets look at this way, when someone or something influence u to do a thing that u never do before or to try to change yourself, u tend to follow it at fes place - willingly or not...but later, when u realise it is not part of u, u will change it again. at that time, its either u change it back to its original state or u transform it to a better one. so, its easy to say, the changes that are not fit to you is not permanent... this is because the power of changing things around you is in your hand.

emm, why am i even talking about this? what came to my mind that triggers me to talk about this? hmmm. let say I've been having a muhasabah session....thinking back on how different i am now from the 'old' me a year ago...

what i can conclude from my once in a blue moon session is ----> no matter how differ i am. i am proud to be who i am now and  who i was a year ago. i cannot thnx enough fr all people around me and the situation i was put in that define me as i am nw. wah, ttbe je rse mcm da jd sorg yg befalsafah..haha.

now i learn that wearing bju kurung, jubah, blouse and skirts is not even half bad. starts to reduce my caffeine intake. even get introduced to existence of colours other than black and white. and most of all, moping is not so renyah after all. hehe.

but, i think the most out of the most changes i get to realise now is how my character has changed here and there. i'm an egoistic person. too ego for a girl, u may say. till now i still am. maybe more ego than before. still hard to open myself up. prefer to pretend that I'm fine when I'm not. love to push myself too hard and try to be strong even if its the last thing i have to do.. partly because of my ego-ness, partly because i don't want to get hurt in the end. because i dont want too depend on people. some say that the wall i kept around me can keep the pain out. but it also restrain the happiness from getting in. err...ok. lets stop talking bout this concrete bricks, ye. :)

i think this is my post fr now. hmm. alang2 skng ni tgh mood bes nk berfalsafah, almost everyday ak post ye...haha. look forward to my next post ye. even if its all merapu jer..

First year anniversary

13 JUNE...tarikh agak keramat nih. hehe. it has been a year. a delightful and yet adventurous year we had together. From nothing, we gain firm and strong bond among each and one of us. Its weird how we came with zero idea about each one of us, but yet we became so close and understanding. well...some of us do have a few problems in their brain frequency set up..hahaha.well that, is a different story to start with.

if i talk about each and one of us, it will be a cliche, isnt it. well, fr nw, i dont want to talk about all of them. i mean not ALL of them....just a few from my very point of view.

lets start with my roommate fes. she's from bidor, perak. ok, sye tak tau knpe, but sye rse mcm we did not start very well. n if i boleh change back time, i nk ubah our fes meeting kt bwh bridge tuh. hehe. sye tak rapat sgt ngn dye. but i always hope that i am. it wuld be soo great if i rapat ngn dye. come on la. we have a lot of persamaan here and there. we can if we try. tp, ntah lah....still wondering.

my housemate. a girl from kuala terengganu. she very nice. my friend for evil and good time. hahaha. she is fine when i ajak dye kua mkn tgh2 mlm..emm, maybe until 11pm lah. x pnah lak ajak aftr 12am. hehehe. she is a good listener, a good adviser. almost all my deep secrets, she know already. a good secret keeper, then.  :) to be sum up, she is my best friend here.

next, about an Indian girl that i easily become fond to with. i love to talk sarcasm with her. guess that is how i show how i like her.and i care bout her. she has a unique and a too positive mind which it can be seen by the way she talks and live.  ok, i cant talk bad bout her, coz she may read this.. =P hehehe

there is also one girl that manage to irritate me soo much but i can brush it off so easily after that. maybe because i pity her. but some say that your true friend is the one that will manage to irritate u but yet u wont feel hurt. is this the rezen (?) well, lets just wait and see.

hmm. there is three more ppl in my house that i didnt talk about yet.well....so far, they are a very bookworm person. help me a lot whenever i need a hand. we didnt so rapat. but that is not because we gaduh or anythg, its because we didnt spend soo much time together as they were busy studying in their own lattice. hehehe.

ok, enuf with my housemate. need to talk about the girls downstairs also...hehe. well. they are 6 of them. each with own unique character. the one that i easy friend with is the one that i hardly find the persamaan between us. weird rite. maybe thats y i get close to her.

3 girls from johor. one from batu pahat, one from kluang and one from labis. hmm. the one from labis, she very tegas. tetap pendirian. a good advicer. she tak rsa malu utk mintx maaf if she salah. one of her good qualities tht i found in her.  the one from kluang, she is a good driver. great one, actually. very tall. tallest girl in the batch. the one from labis, she is so manja2 pnye type. i usually will buat tak tahu jer with ppl like her. but i cant. i rse mcm ade sense utk protect her sbb she can be so mnje n innocent at same time.

one girl from kuala terengganu also. same school with my housemate. hahaha. hmm. fr me. whenever i think about flight, i think of her. get it? haha. x pe lah. let me be the one yg pham. =D the last but not least, from kelantan. she have same phone like me!! wohoo.. a copycat! haha. x de lah. biasa je. she is sooo semangat kenegerian. never see someone like her before. well, there is always first time.

okey....had to admit. it will take ages fr me to talk bout them, each have their own interesting character that i will be more than happy to talk about.it is a difficult task fr me to sum up everythg bout them in a few words only...hehe. but still, i think i have done a good job already. *bangga jp*

Girls, here is a secret from me to all of u... *toleh kanan n toleh kiri* i love you. *whisper*