caffeinated-pumped-zombie

pass or fail. its like having an academical life sentence...study days and nights...less sleep and eventually more caffeine pump inside our system. not to mention all those panic attack and teary moments when we felt down... i guess tht pretty sum up study break.... in one word, caffeinated-zombie! 

and its kinda quite normal having classmate post selfie pic with oversize eyebag or selfie with a sleepy eyes and straight smile... and somehow, seeing tht post, it feels like a mutual understanding between all. we all tired. tensed. and wish that this, what-ever-we-shud-called-this-super-tension-moments to be over and get over it soon. 

and a new routine had started. wake early morning, has pray, eat breakfast... then go library. lunch break plus pray, then library again. again dinner break plus pray.... then library again. then go bck home sleeping. and wake up tommorow early morning. the cycle start again.  seee... we became caffeinated-pumped-zombie. and its tiring. how i wish it ends soon. 

write and rewrite the correction till you get it right!!

'Fahmi, fifah bawak beg sekolah mai sini!'

Almost tiap minggu, ni lah ayat keramat yang abah akan cakap. buat spot check katanya. Abah akan buka dan geledah beg sorang2. takkk... bukannya nak cari barang2 haram. tapi nak cek buat kerja sekolah ke tak! abah bukak satu persatu buku. kalau ada salah disuruh buat correction. kalau ada homework, disuruh siapkan on the spot! hoho. mungkin sebab ni kot, aku selalu siapkan homework masa sekolah rendah. sebab ada orang yang make sure homework tu completed. and orng itu adalah abah! tapi bila dah masuk sekolah menengah abah dah tak cek dah beg kami, kononya kami dah 'besar'. mampu nk uruskan diri sendiri... cewahhh. 

disebabkan abah ni cikgu yang mengajar bahasa omputihh, buku latihan bahasa inggeris ni lagi teliti pulak spot check dia. paling pantang kalau ada salah ejaan kaa. salah grammar ka... memang kena lahhh. aku siap ada satu buku latihan bahasa inggeris kat rumah. nak tau dak apa tujuan buku tu??? haaa, kalau ada salah ejaan, aku kena tulih balik perkataan tu sampai 50 kali. sampai la dapat hafal dan tak akan salah ejaan tu dahhh. kalau still salah, kena salin lagi perkataan tuu. haishhh... aku ingat lagi, aku pernah salah eja beautiful. hahhaha. sampai mati aku ingat ejaan beautiful, insyAllah. :) (p/s: bnyak ja ejaan lain yang aku salah tapi perkataan beautiful ni ja aku sentiasa ingat)

kadang2 bila abah buat spot check mengejut, tak sempat nak sorok jawapan kertas periksa.... aisehhh, mmg kena ahh esp kalo result teruk. itu pun kena buat correction gak tau dakkk!!! sebenarnya semua subjek kena buat correction kalau salah.... aku ingat lagi, kalau matematik, aku salin 3 kali.... hmm, sbb apa kena salin tiga kali ja, hat tu aku tak tauuu. tapi kannn,  nasib baik abah tak suruh salin 50 kali gak kann correction soalan matematik. kalau tak, berkurang lagi masa bermain aku...

ohh, satu lagi, abah ada suruh salin esei bahasa inggeris. salin jaaa. ambik buku contoh karangan, tiru... salin words by words. kononya dapat biasakan diri dengan cara nk buat esei. abah pesan soh buat satu sehari. tapi aku malas. masa hujung minggu, aku akan salin siap2 utk hari minggu tu... so, tak dak la berkurang masa bermain aku time hari mingggu.. trick mengelat nihhh...hahaha.. tapi ni pun hangat2 taik ayam jaaa, lepas dua tiga bulan, aku dah tak salin dah. abah pun tak ingat nak tanya. aku pun... apa lagi, buat2 lupa lah. hahahah.

tapi betul la, kenangan zaman dlu best sangat. walaupun aku ni nampk mcm budak nerd sebab mak bapak dua2 cikgu, tapi aku enjoy sangat masa kanak2 aku. paling best bila pi sekolah mak abah, mesti kakak2 dan abang2 (depa ni anak2 murid mak dan abah aku) akan belanja makan or minum.

kalau join school trip sekolah mak n abah lagi best! pernah sekali tu, mak, aku n abang pi cameron highland. abah n paan dok kat rumah. masa tu paan kecik lagi. abah ngn mak still mengajar SMK Baling time nih. gambaq beromantik ngn abang ada lagi kat rumah. nk tergelak tengok gmbaq tuhh. hahahhah. kenangan kenangan. 

rindu zaman2 kanak2 riang gumbira ceria bersahaja. sekali sekala rasa macam nak putar masa ke zaman dlu sekejap. nk take rest of this hectic life and reminiscence skjap. hmmmm~~

banyak pulak aku membebel ni. padahal banyak kerja tak siap lagi. ahahhaha. okeylah. ciau dlu for now.. 

13 jam A380

dah lama sangat tak beli novel melayu. dekat 6 bulan dah. kalau dlu, blh kata tiap2 bulan ak mesti akan beli novel. bkn tahap kaki novel dah ni. jdi hantu novel dahh. tapi ni lah novel first aku since past 6 months. bukannya boikot novel tapi kat india mana nak cari novel melayu. novel omputih berlambak ah. bila dah lama tak duk kat tanah air ni, dah tak amik tau sangat dah pasal novel terbaru. dah tak amik tau dah psl penulis tiptop terbaru. beli novel ni pun sebab ada org yg super duper excited rekemen novel ni kat alu. harapnya berbaloi lahh.

cakap pasal novel ni kann, wpun aku ni hantu novel, ak tak berapa suka sangat ngn novel yg plot dia clicheé teramat sgt. nak tau pasaipa? sbb cerita tu mmg jauh kebenor dari realiti semasa. it will NEVER ever occur in my life. so, bc novel mcm ni just for fun. nthgs there to ambik pengajaran. 

cause in my life, there will be no anak jutawan yg ttba nak buat lahwin kontrak ngn ak, or my first love yg dah lama tak contact tetiba datang masuk meminang, or a rich man yg duda anak satu sanggup byr duit kat alu just to pretend to be his wife and mother to his daughter. newsflash, this aint reality. life aint like a novel. it just plain simple. 

New aiming. Dont lose hope! Dont lose confident!

Sometimes i wonder why and how a person can end up lock himself in room to study fr hours. skipping meals and breaks. i can never understand. let alone, doing it. to tell the truth, the idea of distinction never come to my mind. i dont really thrill to earn it. 

but ever since block 3, the idea of studying for better understanding was embeded in my mind. i become eager to know more. i want to understand things better. still, im lousy in my not-so-favourite subject which is biochemistry. full apologies to my dearest lecturers. huhu :(

let me tell you a secret of mine. hmm, actually, every single day after having the practical exam, part of me hoped to get called for viva and a part of me hope i wont. true, im not thrilled to get distinction. but it doesnt mean i dont want it. 

while some of u maybe wondering why part of me hope i wont get called, let me tell u a story that i never told anyone in details.

3days -to be precise- before the practical exam started, i went to kasturba hospital. apparently i had a small lump at the back of my neck. it had been there for minimum a month already. but lately, its getting painful. so, i decided to go and have a check. the first doc i meet concluded it (the lump) as either an enlarged lymph node or neurolymphomas (hope i spell it correctly). :) so, i was refered to the PG. (stands for post graduate) well, no such luck for me, his small room is full with 8 to 10 medic students, which i assume doing their practical at the kasturba hospital. probably get nagged or hearing his words of advice. 

okey..back to my story, the PG check me while i am in THE crowded room. he starts cracking some not-so-funny jokes. let me tell u, when u are suddenly asked anatomy question in a packed room fills with those who know the answer too well, u may easily get blank even if the question is as easy as abc. sure thing, that is exactly what occur to me. he asked me the boundaries of posterior triangles. seriesly, i can recite it even in my dreamy state. but, NO! i still have to face a period of total blankness there. huhh. my confident just fly off the window just like that. :(

see,thats the reason why i hope i wont get called for viva. cause im scared. call me a coward or anything. i know when im not fully ready. i just feels like im not up to that standard. 

i am honestly happy for my friends. for those who pass. those who earn one or two or three distinction in a row. yet, they are somehow a reminder for me. for my cowardness. for my failure to be confident of myself. 

now, i making a deal/promise at this moment to whoever reads this post...to really2 study and understand in my second year MBBS. to be confident in myself. i want to be a good doctor. better yet an excellent one. :)

ITS 2ND YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!!

Guess what fella???? today is 13 june!!  its OUR 2nd year of anniversary. 2 complete years we know each other. n each day our bond become closer n closer. yea.. lps habis pbl pagi tadi, pakat wish semua org psl this anniversary. siap kiss and hugs lagi... muah muah muah... hahaha. hepi anniversary uolls. :)

honestly, hup till today, im still amazed on the closeness we can be. macam mana kita semua sama2 harungi saat di msu, saat nak exam IELTS, AS dan A2... masa sebelum fly n etc. macam2 halangan yg sama2 hadapi.... ada jugak cubaan masa kat msu... dengan kes bendaharinya ( ehem.. ehem.. sapa ek, bendahari tu :p ) hahha. bila pk blik, we all dah macam masuk pertandingan lari beribu2 meter berpagar ja. sbb byk sgt halangan dia.  tp semua tu kenangan silam yang berbagai rasa. manis, masam, pahit, masin... semua adaa. yes, its true tht we need to take pengajaran of what happenED to face what WILL happen. so, amik lah pengajarannya, yee... apa yg dah berlaku shaped us today, isn't it. :)

i admit, we are close but sometimes i do feel like we are pretending to be close. i repeat again, sometimes ONLY! not all the times. sbb when we all are in one same place, we can talk / laugh/ crack some jokes leisurely.... but there are times where our 'closeness' are tested. tested to know how much we know bout each other. how much we really care for each other. sbb all those thgs yg da berlaku, ada yang menjadi rapat dan ada yang ...... hmm. rsanya, semua org blh make out apa yg hndak diberitahu kan?? in dis entry, im not pointing out anyone's fault or wrong doing. we are a matured boys and girls, we should know what to do and what not to do. sbb semua org tau about a saying; united we strong, separated, we fall....

Anyway, today is a refreshing day to reminisce our memories together. May whatever things will happen in the future will bring us closer and stronger. Semoga perjalanan kita dan persahabatan kita diredhai dan diberkati ALLAH. Amin. :)

Recap of oldies pics that i have in my lappy :-

Masa kuiz kenegaraan

snap wth dr wira

on the last day of exam

gambar masa dinner :3

a snap just before leaving to BTN

FRIM!!!!

yummy, mkn sma2 

sambutan raya ngn k.akma

sebenarnya kan, bila tengok gambar lama, rasa mcm dah mcm2 bnda yg kita hadapi. jatuh bangun dalam erti sebuah persahabatan dan kehidupan. Afi sendiri mengaku afi mengalami masa kejatuhan yg kritikal sepanjang tempohh masa 2 tahun ini tapi, bila tgk gmbar2 ni semua, rsa sangat hepi dan bersyukur sgt2 sbb dikurniakan sahabat2 yg memahami. :) i love you all. this is my saying deep from my heart. <3