i was once betrayed. and you were there with me. i was at brink of tears and you offered me tissue. lots and lots of it. and when i did cry, you offered me a shoulder to cry for. when im at conflict, you tried to give the best advice you can. instead of forcing, you guide me. and for that im at most grateful. and you has become my jade. my one and only jade.
jade, now we are at the verge of getting separated.... and me being so weak, i dont want to lose you. you are my only friend. i dont think i can do it without you. who will hear my rant? who else would offer me a shoulder to cry for? i dont think i can stand being the tough me without you. i cant.
you may not know, jade, but i had decided to stay with you. because moving forward without you feels like trying to breath in water. its suffocating. it hurts.
but i know its wrong. its wrong to prepare myself for thing like that. it just wrong. i feel like im such a failure. instead of feeling happy, i feel like shit. im feeling so down.
jade, im getting confused each day. i dont know what i want anymore. to move forward and going to third year or to stay behind? i dont know what to do anymore.
i feel empty. like there is a hollow in my heart. i keep thinking of the pro's and con's of each. but yet, im getting more confused. i cried myself to sleep thinking that i made a grave mistake. yet, i still think of staying.
jade, im scared jade. idk. i just dont know. whatever the result will be, im going to accept it. and hope fr the best for me and you.
Love,
Me
