write and rewrite the correction till you get it right!!

'Fahmi, fifah bawak beg sekolah mai sini!'

Almost tiap minggu, ni lah ayat keramat yang abah akan cakap. buat spot check katanya. Abah akan buka dan geledah beg sorang2. takkk... bukannya nak cari barang2 haram. tapi nak cek buat kerja sekolah ke tak! abah bukak satu persatu buku. kalau ada salah disuruh buat correction. kalau ada homework, disuruh siapkan on the spot! hoho. mungkin sebab ni kot, aku selalu siapkan homework masa sekolah rendah. sebab ada orang yang make sure homework tu completed. and orng itu adalah abah! tapi bila dah masuk sekolah menengah abah dah tak cek dah beg kami, kononya kami dah 'besar'. mampu nk uruskan diri sendiri... cewahhh. 

disebabkan abah ni cikgu yang mengajar bahasa omputihh, buku latihan bahasa inggeris ni lagi teliti pulak spot check dia. paling pantang kalau ada salah ejaan kaa. salah grammar ka... memang kena lahhh. aku siap ada satu buku latihan bahasa inggeris kat rumah. nak tau dak apa tujuan buku tu??? haaa, kalau ada salah ejaan, aku kena tulih balik perkataan tu sampai 50 kali. sampai la dapat hafal dan tak akan salah ejaan tu dahhh. kalau still salah, kena salin lagi perkataan tuu. haishhh... aku ingat lagi, aku pernah salah eja beautiful. hahhaha. sampai mati aku ingat ejaan beautiful, insyAllah. :) (p/s: bnyak ja ejaan lain yang aku salah tapi perkataan beautiful ni ja aku sentiasa ingat)

kadang2 bila abah buat spot check mengejut, tak sempat nak sorok jawapan kertas periksa.... aisehhh, mmg kena ahh esp kalo result teruk. itu pun kena buat correction gak tau dakkk!!! sebenarnya semua subjek kena buat correction kalau salah.... aku ingat lagi, kalau matematik, aku salin 3 kali.... hmm, sbb apa kena salin tiga kali ja, hat tu aku tak tauuu. tapi kannn,  nasib baik abah tak suruh salin 50 kali gak kann correction soalan matematik. kalau tak, berkurang lagi masa bermain aku...

ohh, satu lagi, abah ada suruh salin esei bahasa inggeris. salin jaaa. ambik buku contoh karangan, tiru... salin words by words. kononya dapat biasakan diri dengan cara nk buat esei. abah pesan soh buat satu sehari. tapi aku malas. masa hujung minggu, aku akan salin siap2 utk hari minggu tu... so, tak dak la berkurang masa bermain aku time hari mingggu.. trick mengelat nihhh...hahaha.. tapi ni pun hangat2 taik ayam jaaa, lepas dua tiga bulan, aku dah tak salin dah. abah pun tak ingat nak tanya. aku pun... apa lagi, buat2 lupa lah. hahahah.

tapi betul la, kenangan zaman dlu best sangat. walaupun aku ni nampk mcm budak nerd sebab mak bapak dua2 cikgu, tapi aku enjoy sangat masa kanak2 aku. paling best bila pi sekolah mak abah, mesti kakak2 dan abang2 (depa ni anak2 murid mak dan abah aku) akan belanja makan or minum.

kalau join school trip sekolah mak n abah lagi best! pernah sekali tu, mak, aku n abang pi cameron highland. abah n paan dok kat rumah. masa tu paan kecik lagi. abah ngn mak still mengajar SMK Baling time nih. gambaq beromantik ngn abang ada lagi kat rumah. nk tergelak tengok gmbaq tuhh. hahahhah. kenangan kenangan. 

rindu zaman2 kanak2 riang gumbira ceria bersahaja. sekali sekala rasa macam nak putar masa ke zaman dlu sekejap. nk take rest of this hectic life and reminiscence skjap. hmmmm~~

banyak pulak aku membebel ni. padahal banyak kerja tak siap lagi. ahahhaha. okeylah. ciau dlu for now.. 

13 jam A380

dah lama sangat tak beli novel melayu. dekat 6 bulan dah. kalau dlu, blh kata tiap2 bulan ak mesti akan beli novel. bkn tahap kaki novel dah ni. jdi hantu novel dahh. tapi ni lah novel first aku since past 6 months. bukannya boikot novel tapi kat india mana nak cari novel melayu. novel omputih berlambak ah. bila dah lama tak duk kat tanah air ni, dah tak amik tau sangat dah pasal novel terbaru. dah tak amik tau dah psl penulis tiptop terbaru. beli novel ni pun sebab ada org yg super duper excited rekemen novel ni kat alu. harapnya berbaloi lahh.

cakap pasal novel ni kann, wpun aku ni hantu novel, ak tak berapa suka sangat ngn novel yg plot dia clicheé teramat sgt. nak tau pasaipa? sbb cerita tu mmg jauh kebenor dari realiti semasa. it will NEVER ever occur in my life. so, bc novel mcm ni just for fun. nthgs there to ambik pengajaran. 

cause in my life, there will be no anak jutawan yg ttba nak buat lahwin kontrak ngn ak, or my first love yg dah lama tak contact tetiba datang masuk meminang, or a rich man yg duda anak satu sanggup byr duit kat alu just to pretend to be his wife and mother to his daughter. newsflash, this aint reality. life aint like a novel. it just plain simple. 

New aiming. Dont lose hope! Dont lose confident!

Sometimes i wonder why and how a person can end up lock himself in room to study fr hours. skipping meals and breaks. i can never understand. let alone, doing it. to tell the truth, the idea of distinction never come to my mind. i dont really thrill to earn it. 

but ever since block 3, the idea of studying for better understanding was embeded in my mind. i become eager to know more. i want to understand things better. still, im lousy in my not-so-favourite subject which is biochemistry. full apologies to my dearest lecturers. huhu :(

let me tell you a secret of mine. hmm, actually, every single day after having the practical exam, part of me hoped to get called for viva and a part of me hope i wont. true, im not thrilled to get distinction. but it doesnt mean i dont want it. 

while some of u maybe wondering why part of me hope i wont get called, let me tell u a story that i never told anyone in details.

3days -to be precise- before the practical exam started, i went to kasturba hospital. apparently i had a small lump at the back of my neck. it had been there for minimum a month already. but lately, its getting painful. so, i decided to go and have a check. the first doc i meet concluded it (the lump) as either an enlarged lymph node or neurolymphomas (hope i spell it correctly). :) so, i was refered to the PG. (stands for post graduate) well, no such luck for me, his small room is full with 8 to 10 medic students, which i assume doing their practical at the kasturba hospital. probably get nagged or hearing his words of advice. 

okey..back to my story, the PG check me while i am in THE crowded room. he starts cracking some not-so-funny jokes. let me tell u, when u are suddenly asked anatomy question in a packed room fills with those who know the answer too well, u may easily get blank even if the question is as easy as abc. sure thing, that is exactly what occur to me. he asked me the boundaries of posterior triangles. seriesly, i can recite it even in my dreamy state. but, NO! i still have to face a period of total blankness there. huhh. my confident just fly off the window just like that. :(

see,thats the reason why i hope i wont get called for viva. cause im scared. call me a coward or anything. i know when im not fully ready. i just feels like im not up to that standard. 

i am honestly happy for my friends. for those who pass. those who earn one or two or three distinction in a row. yet, they are somehow a reminder for me. for my cowardness. for my failure to be confident of myself. 

now, i making a deal/promise at this moment to whoever reads this post...to really2 study and understand in my second year MBBS. to be confident in myself. i want to be a good doctor. better yet an excellent one. :)